Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
