whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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