I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize