She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
