You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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