he shaved USA in his pubs
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
