That's intense
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
