Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
