He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
