For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
