She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
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Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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