I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
