Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
