I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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