your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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