I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
