So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
