I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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