so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
