why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
