I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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