Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
