Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
