So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
