Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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