Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Randomize