You smell like a Billy Joel song
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
