I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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