You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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