WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
