I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Randomize
