some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
