we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
