Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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