sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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