he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
