Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
