I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
