my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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