i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
high people should be assigned attendants
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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