You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
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