Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
