Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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