There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
