u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
