she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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