# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
