Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
