I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize