Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
