If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
