I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
