And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
