yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
