This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
