So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker