Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.