last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
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homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
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remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.