singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
