i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I'm always down for nudity.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
