I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
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is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I think I sprained my soul last night
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
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After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
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