I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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