just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
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