I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
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I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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